The Wonderful World of Becca

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Ramblings

Wow, long time no blog!!! Not sure who reads anyway, so wasn’t all that worried about updating. But looking back over past blogs its reminded me how useful it is to have space to think by typing and work things through, or to generally encourage myself!!!

So since my last blog I’ve started my college course… as the residential week got closer I got more nervous, but it was an amazing week… I met so many inspirational people and learnt so much. It was a great time of equipping, being fed and ministered to. Time to get out of the hustle and bustle of Croydon and enjoy the beauty and fellowship in Calver. It was fantastic to meet so many like minded people with a passion for ministering to children. We managed to exchange ideas and generally encourage each other. It was overwhelming at the start of the week with lots of new things, but by the Wednesday I felt at peace and happy with what was going on.

A month down the line I’ve almost finished my first assignment and am constantly evaluating my ongoing placement at st marys. It’s wonderful to have the support of Louise as my supervisor. She’s fab 

If I’m honest I’m finding the balance between working full time, studying and socialising quite difficult. Obviously my work hours are fixed, as are the requirements for my studies, but it’s just fitting everything in! Social activities are really important to me, I think I’d go insane with seeing my friends and having a chance to relax a little. So it’s finding the right balance! Then trying to fit God, Junior Church, Brownies into the equation – oh boy! I knew it’d be tough, but I think I underestimated how much of a shift this would be… it’s amazing the difference between this year and last!

My job is perfect though… it’s been pretty quiet of late, but that’s ok, it’s given me a chance to write some of my assignment!!! I love the variety of things I do. On Monday I went into school with Dee and Kirsty and did 2 hours of SoundStart. I loved it, even though it was strings! I got to play the violin, which was very exciting!!! I’m also teaching oboe at the endangered species centre, which is such a privilege. My colleagues are great, I love them dearly. It is such the perfect job. And I’ve been put on a permanent contract, which is awesome and such a security blanket.

It’s weird how this academic year has brought about so much change; job, studies and even friendships. I seem to have drifted apart from a whole bunch of people which saddens me. I know that not all relationships are meant forever, but I do wish they were! Especially when you get particularly close to people and then for whatever reason things change and you’re not really that close anymore. That seems to have happened with most of TnT at church, which makes me sad. And also some folk from school, which is sad too coz we’ve been friends for so long. But these things do happen and you just have to muddle along. I do have some amazing friends still  I seem to be getting a lot closer to the 16-18 year olds at church which is cool and also to some of the more middle aged ladies, which is also cool  And of course there are new people popping into my life all the time; colleagues like Mike, course mates like Michelle, church members like Louise, so it’s all good.

God’s given me a bit of a kick up the backside this week… I stood in church on Sunday morning thinking ‘If I could just take God out of my life, then everything would be so much better… I wouldn’t be trying to be a children’s worker, so I wouldn’t have this essay to write… I wouldn’t be at st marys, so I wouldn’t have junior church to worry about… I wouldn’t be trying to fulfil God’s plan and purpose for my life, whatever that may be. It’d all be so much better’.

So that was Sunday morning…. Sunday evening I was round at Lindsey’s and seemed to end up having a rant and a moan about many-a-thing. So at the end of the evening she decided to pray for me… and I was totally hit by the Spirit. I’m not gonna go into everything that happened, if you wanna know, ask me! But yeah, God’s Spirit moved and after talking the experience over with Louise, I’ve decided it was basically God reminding me that he’s still here!! Not something to forget it seems!

This weekend is the TnT weekend away… I’m looking forward to getting away from Croydon, forgetting about my essay and having some chill time. But I’m a little anxious; about what God may do and about friendships. But we’ll just have to see what happens!!