No warm fuzziness

So, it's Easter Sunday - woo hoo! Yup, that's right, I was being sarcastic.

So, Jesus is alive, Jesus rose from the dead, Jesus has been resurrected. Sure, that's sweet, but I'm not feeling at all warm and fuzzy about that. I walked into church this morning and everyone's all excited, hugging each other, saying happy easter; there's a general buzz and a sense of joy. Our twice a year church goers make their easter appearance, our easter only church goers make their's too.

But, amidst it all, there's no warm fuzziness in my heart. Wait a minute you say, this should be the most exciting day of any Christian's year; Jesus rose from the dead, which means all our sins are forgiven through his death on the cross and we can have eternal life with him.

Sure this is cool, but I'm just not feeling it. Don't get me wrong; it's awesome that Jesus rose from the dead, there is so much hope in that. I realise that without Jesus, without his death and resurrection my life wouldn't be worth living. And I take comfort in that and it's awesome news and such an act of sacrifice that I couldn't even begin to imagine how it felt, but it just doesn't get me all warm and fuzzy inside. I don't get excited, I don't want to stuff my face with chocolate that relatives give you because it's easter. What is Easter? It's a celebration of Jesus' death and resurrection. And through that we hav new life in Jesus. But why wouldn't you celebrate it if you don't believe it. Ok, so maybe you believe it, but don't believe in it. So why give easter eggs? Why get drawn into the consumerism? It's so stupid!

I know this all sounds so wrong. Surely I shouldn't feel like this especially as a church worker. But I do and I have to deal with it and if you're reading, go ahead, comment!