God really does care

Have had a good weekend over all...

Saturday we had a band morning at church. It was good. An opportunity to read the Word, to pray and to learn new songs together. It was fun, it was a laugh, it was great to worship together and I really enjoyed it. Then in the evening I baked cookies and watched Notting Hill (yes Rach, Kat; I've finally seen it!) And I really enjoyed that.

Yesterday I had both services off from St Mary's, so decided to make the most of it and head up to town. I went to HTB in the morning, that was good. The worship was amazing; the perfect balance of old, new and in between. And I was totally enabled to worship God for myself and not worrying about who was around me and what they were doing. The message was spot on and perfect for me - it was about perseverence. The context was about the early church and how Paul and Barnabus persevered with evangelism. But the principles can be applied across boundaries and I was just encouraged to persevere with life, but especially with my relationship with God.

After that I got the bus to Oxford Street. I managed to find a comfy seat in Starbucks and sat there for 2 hours prolonging the eating of the most amazing tropical fruit salad and the drinking of a might good mocha light frapp :-) And I managed to write to Rita and Chris and I did my 'purple page' study for Anna and wrote up the notes (from scrappy paper to my notebookk) from the message at HTB and I read a bit. And that was really good - relaxing, chilled and perfect. Then I took a meander down Oxford St, browsed a few shops and saw some cool tops and then wanted to satisfy my baguette craving!! So I went in every coffee shop and cafe trying to find a nice baguette and somewhere to sit, but didn't have much joy. Eventually I settled for a panini in a very overcrowded Starbucks at Tottenham Court Rd. Was good though!

Then to Hillsongs. It was a service of pure worship, no message. So I was a little annoyed at that as I really wanted to hear another inspiring, uplifting and encouraging message. But oh well! The worship was good and it was really smelly and sweaty in there, not so good! Towards the end of the night the Pastor did he appeal for new Christians. And he stood there saying "If you accept Jesus into your life he'll make your life new and he'll make everything amazing and fab and he'll do all this wonderful stuff for you and life will be fantastic". I recognised my attack straight away... My heads going "Yeah whatever, that's not true, Jesus hasn't made my life amazing, so why is he gonna make anyone else's life amazing?" And it went on like this in my head and I knew I was spiralling down into a bunch of negative thoughts about my relationship with God. I felt so ready to give up everything, yet I totally knew this was attack. And I couldn't pray much accept for "Jesus help me".

Came out of church feeling pretty negative, my whacked on my ipod and decided when I was on a mainline train I'd ring my friend and see if I could invite myself over for a quick cuppa. So I got on the train, got my phone out and my hands were shaking so much and my heart was beating real fast and inside I'm thinking don't ring her. I knew if I didn't ring her, the enemy would win and the rest of my evening would turn out badly. So I managed to ring and she was more than happy for me to pop in. So when I got back to Croydon I went in to see her. I was still really scared and felt I shouldn't go coz I was invading her time etc. But I knew this was just the enemy. I did go and I had a really good time. Stayed for about an hour and we just chatted and laughed and drank tea and it was good. My heart was at rest. I left her house and the first thing that came into my head was "And the enemy has been defeated, death couldn't hold you down, gonna lift my voice in victory, gonna make your praises loud". Jesus has won, I'd taken that step and he'd helped me all the way.

Today I went to give blood. Every other time I've given blood I've always felt really faint and dizzy afterwards. So I prayed so much that it wouldn't happen this time coz it just feels so horrible. I guess I even tried to bargain with God. I was like "come on, if you really care about me and if you really want me to believe that you care, please just let me be ok, please let me feel fine" and in my head I'm thinking, if these are physical symptoms of the fact I've just had a pint of blood taken out of me, then what's God gonna be able to do about it. And you know what? I was fine, I felt totally normal, not one little sign of light headed-ness. And I came out and was like "you know what God, you do care and I know you care, even about the smallest things".

Thank you Lord.

***

Aside from that, I was delighted to pick up an email from Becky this afternoon (yes, I had a computer free 42 hours and it's been lovely!) And she knows I've been talking about moving churches. So she's sent me a link to an article in the press over in the US. Oooh it made me laugh so much that I want to post it here...

Alison Matera of New Port Richey, Fla., should have done just that last Friday, but instead her ruse was exposed when she sat among mourners, listening to friends and family celebrate her life.

It all started, the St. Petersburg Times reported Friday, when the 27-year-old told members of her church choir that she was dying of cancer, and that she soon would start receiving treatments.

Matera then started giving her friends regular updates during her "treatments." Then, near the end of last year, she told them she was giving up her fight and entering a hospice so she could die, the newspaper reported.

She "left" the church, but choir members said they continued to receive calls from a "hospice nurse" with updates on Matera's health. The same "nurse" then called choir director Timothy Paquin on Jan. 18 to say Matera had died. Paquin said he then received a call from someone identifying themselves as Matera's sister, detailing the family's arrangements for the body.
The strange thing, according to a report filed with the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, is that all the choir members said the callers all sounded exactly like Matera.

Paquin said he called the hospice and local funeral homes, but none had ever heard of Matera.
Then, when the church family gathered to mourn Matera's death, a woman looking exactly like Matera showed up, claiming to be her sister, they said.

Choir members called the sheriff's office for help, and when deputies went to Matera's apartment she confessed the hoax, saying she needed to separate from the church community.

Oooh, that made me laugh! Don't worry Becky, I won't do that!!