So....

So, these past couple of months the whole world has been asking
me what I'm gonna do in september, so...

As I dwellt in the concept of uni more and the course itself I
became less and less convinced about it. I have no problem with
moving out of home, but I think the studying would be quite
hard. My heart was no longer in the course, so I rejected both
places at uni.

I then came across a course run by the OU in childhood and youth
studies. So after much prayer and discussion with a close friend
and my parents, I've decided this would be a good option. So I've
applied for this and am awaiting the final confirmation in a few
weeks time. It will take me 6 years to do the degree. I'll be
studying one module a year, for 9 months of each year, with about
16 hours of study each week. Alongside that I hope to get some
work in schools, either as a teaching assistant or an individual
support assistant. During these 6 years, I will continue my
involvement at St M's and also supporting Eleanor in GCU. I will
also spend this time trying to discern whether full time ministry
or full time childrens ministry is where God wants me, as
currently I feel this may be where he's calling me. So that's my
6-7 year plan!

So, that's all very exciting!
Tomorrow I leave my teenage years behind me. I'm gonna be 20!!
Wooo! Not doing anything majorly exciting! Going to a random
founders day service for my old school, which is kinda groovy!
Then doing creche and Brownies. And in the evening I'm gonna
get a pizza and a DVD and chill out with the family.
Good times!

No warm fuzziness

So, it's Easter Sunday - woo hoo! Yup, that's right, I was being sarcastic.

So, Jesus is alive, Jesus rose from the dead, Jesus has been resurrected. Sure, that's sweet, but I'm not feeling at all warm and fuzzy about that. I walked into church this morning and everyone's all excited, hugging each other, saying happy easter; there's a general buzz and a sense of joy. Our twice a year church goers make their easter appearance, our easter only church goers make their's too.

But, amidst it all, there's no warm fuzziness in my heart. Wait a minute you say, this should be the most exciting day of any Christian's year; Jesus rose from the dead, which means all our sins are forgiven through his death on the cross and we can have eternal life with him.

Sure this is cool, but I'm just not feeling it. Don't get me wrong; it's awesome that Jesus rose from the dead, there is so much hope in that. I realise that without Jesus, without his death and resurrection my life wouldn't be worth living. And I take comfort in that and it's awesome news and such an act of sacrifice that I couldn't even begin to imagine how it felt, but it just doesn't get me all warm and fuzzy inside. I don't get excited, I don't want to stuff my face with chocolate that relatives give you because it's easter. What is Easter? It's a celebration of Jesus' death and resurrection. And through that we hav new life in Jesus. But why wouldn't you celebrate it if you don't believe it. Ok, so maybe you believe it, but don't believe in it. So why give easter eggs? Why get drawn into the consumerism? It's so stupid!

I know this all sounds so wrong. Surely I shouldn't feel like this especially as a church worker. But I do and I have to deal with it and if you're reading, go ahead, comment!

This Easter time...

So, it's that time of year again. Unsurprisingly churches get busy places at this time of year, so I've been a busy bunny this week. But praise God for some time off starting Monday!
So, what have I been up to?

Wednesday evening was cool; TNT1, TNT2, Steakhouse, House and our associate students all went bowling. So there were about 25 of us and we had 4 lanes. It was mighty hilarious. IJ thought it'd be a good idea to talk all the way down her lan, stand about a foot away from the pins and try to cheat. More fool her; she still missed! That was funny, until Sean decided to do the same and then we had security onto us. These Christians ey?!

Yesterday should have been a day off, but I worked. Then in the evening there was a passover supper at church. I've never been to one of these before, so I went. It was cool... we did like 3 blessings for the wine (or grape juice in my case!) then we had 'bitter herbs', which was lettuce dipped in red wine vinegar and then we had matzos (unleavened bread) and lamb soup (or vegetable for us veggies). Then we shared communion together which was groovy. I sat with David and Lindsey and Ailsa.

Today, we had our All Age worship this morning; was kinda cool. Then we did our walk of witness and reinactment of the crucifixion in town. Flip did it rain. I made the mistake of wearing jeans that were way too long for me and suede trainers. Needless to say my legs and feet were soaking! I always find the reinactment kinda odd. I've seen it so many times it almost seems just like a show. Although it was brought home a bit more today; I was standing with Mark and he decided to join in by shouting 'crucify him'. That didn't sit well with me; initially it made me jump, then it just made me feel bad! On reflection, technically he was doing the right thing coz the crowd were shouting crucify him coz they didn't like him. I guess it's just coz I'm watching it as a Christian who loves Jesus, so I find it hard to then think about shouting 'crucify him'! With all the rain though and Andy on the cross (as Jesus) wearing a pair of boxers, a loin cloth and lots of make up (!) it made me realise more of what Jesus went through... We don't know what the weather was like when he was crucified!

The Bible doesn't talk about the weather much does it?!

So, this afternoon the relatives come over. Don't know how that will be. No doubt the TV will be on and they'll all fall asleep! That's what normally happens. Maybe I'll do some work!!!!

Spring Harvest!

So, Becky wants to know what happened. And for anyone else interested....

Spring Harvest.... So, sure I went last saturday. I was proper excited for 3 reasons; firstly some time away from Croydon and my church, secondly a chance to do the same work as I normally do, but in a different place with different people who have different ideas and thirdly a chance to see some of the folk I met when I went last year; all good! So it was really exciting.

Day 1 was just registration for the kids and then we had a team meeting etc.

Day 2 was our first day with the kids; all good; got to know them a bit, got to know more of the team etc.

Day 3; first exciting day; L's Dad came in and told us that D's sister had been rushed into hospital with poison pouring from her head, had seen 7 drs and none of them could help (ok so you're thinking that's not exciting) well, the dad asked our venue leader if we could pray for M, so she suggested J & I took our group to 'the prayerzone', which was a little gazebo for the kids to pray in. So we went in there and each child took a post it note and wrote a prayer on there. Then I passed round a glue stick and when a child had it, they could pray if they wanted. Many of them did. Was exciting to see so many of them responding to God.

Day 4; D & L came running in; M's out of hospital and she's ok. Praise the Lord! So L tells me about his dad's ear and how it's all blocked up and saw etc. So during the songs, L, D & myself go and do the post it and prayer thing.

Day 5; L comes in; Dad's ear's better! Praise the Lord! L & D were so excited that God is a healer and that he hears and answers our prayers. Was so lovely.

Day 6 was kinda cute; J (my co-worker) and I got bought 3 lots of chocolates each & a bracelet each. We also each got a card from B which said " Thank you for sharing God's love with me". That just melted my heart. Now I know that chocolates and gifts aren't the way to measure love, but it sure made us feel loved! Then at the end L's mum was telling us how much she appreciated it and how her & D's mum had brought 10/11 foster children with them and they'd all had the best week of their lives. Then she went on to say how the 2 boys had seemed to have the best time of all of the kids. And when they filled in the parent evaluation form she asked them what they'd change about their group and they said 'nothing it was perfect'. By this point she was in tears and hugging me. It was so gorgeous. There are so many other examples of how God worked and moved, but that's enough! It was so wonderful!

I went to a groovy seminar about guidance and another one about prayer. I felt really challenged to sort out my prayer time with God and become a prayer warrior. The guidance one was cool (although it didn't really help me much!); I was challenged by something the woman said; she said that sometimes God has something specific he wants us to do and sometimes he doesn't. And in the times there's not anything specific for us to do, we shouldn't worry about what we should be doing, but instead we should try and follow the other guidance he's left for us in the Bible. That was cool.

The other thing I really liked.... we were put into these groups called 'care groups' and at the end of the week, our care group leader awarded us all certificates and mine was 'Star of the week for Green ladders prayer co-ordinator' (green ladders was my group btw) And that made me smile lots coz I dunno, it just did!

So I had a great week. I went to hear Andy Flan and Lou Fellingham in concert. I also went to some hench Hillsongs worship evening; that was amazing.

Man it was so great; God is so good!

I'm back

Read above! Will post more tomorrow or sometime!